Thank you! Would it be awkward to tell you I love you too? Hahaha
now i’ve got you in my space
i won’t let go of you
got you shackled in my embrace
i’m latching on to you
w0w shit i didnt know this existed
W000000W holy shit this is g00000000d
Earphones in, song on repeat, memories replaying, tears on edge.
I LOVE YOU!
I’m not okay. I called it quits with you just this morning, and an hour ago I saw you out with another girl already. I know we weren’t really labeled as anything, just two friends who enjoyed each other’s company, but it fucking hurts. How could you be such an asshole and see someone else so soon, especially after we had an amazing weekend in SF together? Everything you told me, about how you would miss me, how it’s going to suck not having me there, how different it’s going to be not having me by your side.. All that bullshit was a bunch of lies, right? I’ve already been replaced, and it has only been hours. I know, I sound like a complete bitch, since we weren’t actually “dating,” but to me, I thought “we” meant a lot more than that. I feel completely foolish, played by someone who got me to open up so quickly. How dare you tell me I was the only “FWB” you ever fell for. How dare you tell me you’ve never opened up to someone the way you did to me in a long time. I hate you so much for how sincerely you treated me, and now this. I can’t believe myself for trusting you and opening up to you, exposing my true colors. You are the reason I won’t let this happen again. I won’t allow myself to be vulnerable and weak ever again. I hate you for making me hate myself.
If I’m investing more into this than you are, then I’m done. Lately, leaving has been my favorite thing to do.
My mind says leave, but my heart says stay. Which fucker should I listen to?
Yeah, I’ve grown attached. Told myself not to open up at all, and constantly reminded myself to shut out all feelings… But I failed. Honestly? I blame him. How was I supposed to know that being caring, genuine, and compassionate is just who he is? I didn’t ask for all of these stupid loose strings attached. Romance wasn’t part of the deal, yet we both succumbed to its pitiful doom. I, however, fell deeper. Because of this, I feel so vulnerable, and it disgusts me. I never wanted to feel this way again for a long time. But just like how he is caring, genuine, and compassionate, I am a hopeless romantic. It’s just in my nature to give love to those who show me any sort of affection. Try as I might, I can’t completely turn off any corny feelings related to love.
Which is why come Sunday night, when we get home from our little trip to SF, I’m calling it quits. I can’t have myself falling head over heels for someone in something that shouldn’t have been carried on this way to begin with. I’m done feeling this way, done getting mixed signals from him that leave me confused every single day. I’m just done. Over this bullshit.
I’m not sorry for the way I feel. I can’t control my feelings, fuck I wish I could! It would sure as hell save me from so much trouble and bullshit.